Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Parents, please take note.

I have FAILED.

Well, I KIND OF didn't... I just didn't blog here yesterday. I blogged on my specific blogging day at the wonderfulRaving Persuasions!

Plenty of moms (and dads) blog about their little kids. LiteralDan andWhisperingWriter are good examples.

(I don't have kids, but I find other people's kids quite amusing. Mostly because I don't have to deal with them.)

Anyway, I've decided to turn the tables and blog about MY MOM. This is basically the gist of yesterday's blog:

MY MOTHER (who is quite *neeeearly* 50, but hates to admit it) WANTS **EVEN MORE** TATTOOS!!! :O

Seriously. Ew. She already HAS some! A flamingo on her thigh, which she wants "recolored", because, well, they fade after you've had them for 30 years or so. And a treble clef on the back of her left shoulder. But nooooo. She wants MORE. She's decided on either an expansion on her treble clef; the opening bars of some Rod Stewart **side: She clipped a black & white picture or him from a magazine --no, her friend did and used it as wrapping paper, but whatever-- she kept it, and now it's under that sun visor-flap thing in her car. JUST the eyes stick out from under the visor. It has a creepy effect. He's creepy.** song. I believe she's chosen "Do You Think I'm Sexy".

Or a leopard on her other shoulder. AND the Detroit tigers logo. This is wrong for many reasons:

A.) WE ARE NOT FROM DETRIOT. She is not a FAN of the Tigers.
B.) SHE WANTS THIS TATTOO ON HER ARM. In full view of the public.
C.) SHE WANTS IT BECAUSE KID ROCK HAS THIS PARTICULAR TATTOO. Really? He is a YOUNGISH, MALE, ROCKSTAR. **You, mother, are NOT. You THINK you are sexy. You DO actually like current-ish music. This is frightening.**

Now I know why moms who blog only have young kids. Because once your kids age, they become DEMON SEEDS. Who have OPINIONS. Everything they say is no longer cute. They can STOP you from doing stupid things. Like getting tattoos.

Mom-bloggers out there, you may think this is bold, daring, cool, whatnot. It is NOT, ok? Would YOU do this to your child? Would you do this to YOURSELF? I mean, I think it's kind of sterotypical to think that all teenagers are punks and hooligans who would kick your dog or steal your purse or something. Some are. Most really aren't.

I DO, however, believe the only *slightly* sterotypical notion that all PARENTS are embarrassing. You may not TRY to be, but YOU ARE. I'm sorry. There is a fiiiine balance between really being cool, and looking like an idiot. You just have to KNOW when to shut up and when to really get involved. WE don't know this, you just have to figure it out.

Anyways, back to my mom's "tats" She will have: (pictures off Google Images, not her.)

*different lyrics and notes, but ya get the point...*

And of course:

Except her arm looks NOTHING like that. It's kind of... squishy.

Parents, mothers, bloggers of the universe, please, PLEASE, do NOT do this to your children. I beg of you.

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