Friday, August 21, 2009

Dear So and So (Open letter containing a punch in the face)

Yes, today comes a blog of TWO-- TWO!-- buttons! Ah ah ah! *insert lightning*

**way more awesome than Edward Cullen**

But I digress... now for the BUTTONS!

This is a

Dear So and So...

Blog post, containing a VERY SPECIAL

(originated by Cate, who does not have all the coding internetal stuff under her button, possibly because she does not want it used by other people, but hey, it's a good idea!)

Dear York (and the morons who run it:)

You deserve a punch in the face simply because you are huge, unnecessarily complicated, and "parts of you" (because "we" are ALL YORK!!!! YEA! Let's sing! What, you haven't learned the OFFICIAL school song in 3 days?! TRAITOR! Yes, we're all half an inanimate object. That makes total sense...) need convincing that I, a 14 year old, KNOW MY ADDRESS. Yes, I KNOW where I live. YOU are wrong. WHY is that so hard to accept? Oh, and by the way, your mascot is stupid. The dutch have never had dukes, nor is there a York in the Netherlands. It's completely incorrect to say that the Duke is Dutch. The girls sports teams should be the Duchesses, not lady Dukes. What, does the fighting Duchesses sound lame? If nothing else, please try to go for accuracy.

Signed, Freshman Upset. (hooray for anagrams)

Yes, I know now I was freaked out for nothing, now I'm mostly Fed Up. (more anagrams!) The most I could say to any authority figure's face was THANK YOU. And give them a thumbs up. This is really an effective strategy for not swearing and/or flipping people off. Thumbs up is equivalent to up yours in most middle eastern countries, Greece, Iran, most of South America, parts of Italy, Nigieria, and somewhere called Sardinia. Sure, I'm not IN any of those countries, and the people viewing my completely socially acceptable gesture probably have no idea what I REALLY mean, but that's the point. Just to spice things up a little (I had to go through this irritating process muliple times), sometimes I used "OK sign", meaning it in the German way, of course. Asshole. Oh, and in Turkey and Venezuela it means fag. I didn't know that, but either works.

The best way of pulling this off is by accompanying either gesture with a biiiiiig grin. The thumbs upper gets the satisfaction of conveying the vulgar (but sometimes ONLY) messages without the thumbs upp-y's knowledge. The thumbs upp-y thinks that that the upper now understands and agrees. Everyone is happy.

Yup, she has the idea.

And now, to end the blog with the customary, yet absent of late, FUNNY PICTURE!

Man I miss the Muppets.

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