Saturday, January 30, 2010
Great Moments in History-- TWSS Edition
Yes, that's right-- That's What She Said. (as I've mentioned before, intialisms/abbreviations/symbols don't count as more than one word)
So, on Thursday in World Studies, (if you read carefully, most of my actual stories about school come from this class. There's a reason for that, one being that most of us should be on some kind of medication... the swearing-in-Gaelic teacher included.) the following conversation reached a predictable conclusion:
Student-person: "Mrs. G, the pencil sharpener is broken."
Mrs. G: "Well, is it plugged in?"
SP: "Yes. It's broken."
G: *Irritated, as usual* "No, it's not. Just stick it in hard and twist it. It'll work for you eventually.
Let's just call him "Rico"... he'd enjoy that immensely: *triumphantly, though these setups are not uncommon*: "That's what she said!"
Oh, and the day before, Rico was showing a group of people how he can somehow extend his stomach so it looks like he's 4 months pregnant or so, and move it, like in a circular motion. Creepy, but Mrs. G remarks: "Ewww. Hey, did any of you ever see that one movie with Schwarzenegger, where the guy pops out of the other guy's stomach? Rico reminded me of that, it was disgusting." First mistake there, G-- you do NOT mention Schwarzenegger movies containing aliens in people's stomachs in front of them and expect them to ignore it.
So naturally, 5 minutes later she caved, and showed us this gem, which is like a compilation of the entire movie, with multiple catfights and shootings and some swearing that made them giggle like 8 year olds. Oh, *yes*, Mrs. G, THIS is perfectly appropriate to show during class, and History of the World Part 1/Holy Grail is "too vulgar"? What. The. Hell?! It's at least relevant, to, uh, what's this called... World Studies. (hey, I'm not complaining, perfect waste of 6 minutes, but really.)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Okay, sign me up for the Church of Albus Dumbledore...
Saturday, January 23, 2010
I love grapefruit Vitamin C drops! (This is the approximate color of them and presumably of my mouth right now. Yum.)
They make my throat all moist, plus they taste really, really good. I'd eat them more often, but I feel like I need an excuse. People would see me sucking one in public and assume I'm sick all the time or something. One more of the reasons I like being sick. Is that so wrong? It's the weekend, I'm not harming anyone with my inactivity or movie-watching, and it's unlikely I'll miss school. I just ENJOY HAVING A COLD.
I've spent much of today doing nothing. Very contently, as opposed to the last few Saturdays, wherein I've been stressed or feeling shitty for some reason... well, today I have a cold, but it's made me just sickly and full of mucus enough to stay home alone in my pajamas all day. (It's ironic that a cold makes me happy, but that's me.) These occurrences are very, very rare. And how have I seized this opportunity?
Doing (what would appear to most people as)
As in, watching movies and sucking vitamin C drops and lying on the couch and generally not doing productive things such as homework, but at this point I don't care. Aforementioned movies watched include:
Charlotte's Web (which does indeed make me cry, shut up.)
The Wizard of Oz (Oh hellz yes)
Kiki's Delivery Service (It's awesome, but my anime-obsessed BFF insists upon the superiority of the Japanese version. It's all I know about anime-wise, and Phil Hartman-dubbed Jiji is adorable, sarcastic, AND speaks English! :P)
The Swan Princess (So, so corny, but so, so good. Jean Bob kind of pwns Naveen just a little bit. If you have seen either of these movies then you get a sticker. Heck, you get a sticker for reading this far. *throws stickers from magical parade float and watches people run into the street like ninnies, because this is MY asterisk bubble dammit and if I want to see you run into traffic then YOU WILL.*)
Annie (The 1999 Disney version. Nostalgic for me, though I do admit Whatzisface guy who plays Rooster is far inferior to Tim Curry in retrospect. Mmmm, Tim Curry...)
Willy Wonka (on in background as this is being typed. I've had to stop multiple times so as to devote my full attention to it.)
And yes, all on VHS, pausing in between to shove them into the magic rectangle rewinding device. Does this thing have a name? It makes a buzzing sort of noise and then pops the tape out when it's done, with a light thing in the corner. I have distinct memories of jamming my fingers into it. This thing:
Saturday, January 16, 2010
If I ever join a band...
Here's some names I would use:
Electrified Snozzberries (Literary reference, but "electrified" makes it sound awesome. If you don't know the reference, I'm not telling.)
a myrtaceous koala. (Hah, go look it up. That's part of the appeal of it-- it's confusing. :D)
Stripes of Space
Oddments From The Back Of The Refrigerator (Another literary reference, slightly more obscure. There's a prize if you get it.)
Punctuation & the Ampersands
Like Purple on Eggplant (no reference, just an old inside joke.)
The probability I'll ever have the chance to use one of these is very low, but it's good to be prepared.
Meh, hopefully it'll work. Goodbye for tonight, lovely cyberspace!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Done. Finally. Oh, and what's worse-- I had to spend an hour and 45 minutes trapped in some kind of alternate universe wherein TIME HAS STOPPED. I know that seems insane, exaggeratory, showing my completely overdramatic and impatient side (I'm not denying anything.) but seriously. I love libraries, specifically for their quiet, booknerdiness. But this was just not right. Like something out of a bad horror movie, the Twilight Zone, the worst documentary ever, or my brain. Possibly all, stemming from my brain... No sound, I was the only person moving. It was cold, too cold, maybe because of my lack of motion, and my hands had started to turn a splotchy reddish-purple. I remember this and take note of it because I got hyper observant halfway through. I brought a book to pass time like a normal person would, but I finished it. There was NO clock, which I took to mean that time was NONEXISTENT. The silence was SO quiet I was afraid of making any kind of noise. I really don't like drawing attention to myself, (in certain situations, it can vary by day. I like to pretend I'm interesting and attention-seeking when in reality I can be shy and dull as a sack of potatoes. Not the red ones, or the ones shaped like fingers, just POTATOES. Why the hell am I telling the Internet this? Why am I comparing myself to potatoes? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.) and because in the state I was in I convinced myself that if I sneezed I would like, rip a hole in the space-time continuum and destroy humanity.
Okay, so, the non-creepy part of this story: ONLY evidence of time passage; an answering machine. An old-fashioned (circa maybe 1991), real answering machine where the messages can be heard by everyone. Very librariany. Static female-robotish voice saying she was Linda **or some other short name that I tend to associate with librarians, names may have been not remembered to leave the innocent out of my nonsense.** and that could could Lynne **see note at Linda** please call her back about somethingsomething?
And so, this is one big thank-you note to Lynne/Linda. Thank you, Lynne/da and your answering machine, because sometimes I need proof that there is other human life in my universe...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Some cliches just sound better videoified:
The standard "Be Yourself" does hold some meaning, no matter how repetitive it is. Today has been really crappy avec (wait, no... por?) moi, here's hoping yours was better.
(Science says that, I say I want the smiley face cappuccino.)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I've started thinking about writing poetry more often, but then I realized most of my "I am a tormented child poet" phase was crap. I used to write nonsense haiku whilst locked in the closet under the stairs-- of my own free will. Seriously. Closet under the stairs= OMGZ just like in Harry Potter!!!! So I spent most of 2005 like that. A sample of poems from the abyss formerly known as Adequate Space for a Young Harry Potter Fanatic That is Now Full of Boxes and Other Assorted Shit:
It's a word. Really.
The Strawberry Whale (seriously, I wrote this in red crayon... deep and facinating-- as most things in crayon are-- I must warn you.)Serendipity
A seven syllable phrase
Contemplation OF everything (sadly not in crayon)
Yes this is five words.
A triangular space
I am in it. La!
Apparently I couldn't think of an ending to that one. La! Meh, hopefully I've gotten better at it. Takes up space nicely, anyway. Good use of few words that do NOT necessarily need to make any kind of sense. Refrigerator. :D
(copy and paste is still being annoying... but anything mildly funny that screams "I am *THIS* close to going on a homicidal rampage." would be appropriate here.)
Saturday, January 2, 2010
The following blog contains:
A lot of talk about Jesus/musical theatre (Supreme dislike of either should signify an end to reading this particular blog post.)
Probably some blasphemy
Still reading? Let's begin:
Having recently (because my mom found the made-for-PBS newer version VHS at Half Price Books, and has been obsessed with it for 35 years. What Catholic school did to a bunch of sixth-graders. *sigh* Seriously, my mother still has 98 percent of a 2 hour opera MEMORIZED.) watched Jesus Christ Superstar, I thought I'd blog about my slightly agnostic-y-major-broadway-nerd perception of it. Hopefully it will interest some people. (if not, just skip to the end, wherein I yak about hot/non-hot Jesii) Hopefully it will annoy some people. (because what fun is anything if someone doesn't disagree?)
First and foremost: TERRIFIC musical. Really catchy, awesome songs, and just very interesting to watch, regardless of "message".
The basic plot focuses mostly on the factual (by factual I mean more realistic, stops before going into the "risen from the dead" and after...) part of it, and the ending is ambiguous. I like that it leaves you to draw your own conclusions. There are no villains (only creeps), but there isn't really a "hero", either. Yes, Judas is the main antagonist, but he has a good point. Like, "This whole thing is starting to spiral out of control, and already the values you have people excited about are being overshadowed. Of course *I* don't want to be the reason you're killed...*headdesk*.. but they're going to kill you ANYWAY, so let's just get it over with."
Even Jesus is like, "Oh, fuck. I don't WANT to die. Even if it is for the salvation of all humankind or whatever. And is that even what's really going to happen? THAT would be helpful to know before I let them beat the living shit out of me. *headdesk* Being Jesus effing sucks."
Everyone is portrayed as being human, with realistic emotions. Speaking for myself, in the same situation right at the beginning I'd have assumed I was a schizophrenic or something, and go completely batfuck insane. So, props for sticking it out until the gruesome end.
Also, I found a few of things in this movie hilarious.
--At the Last Supper, when Jesus points out that they're drinking his blood, the "WTF?!?!" face of the apostle drinking the wine is priceless.
--Same scene, the 10 apostles that don't do anything cut the tension of the crazy intense staredown by randomly bursting into the chorus part. *Completely* appropriate time for that.
-- The fact that the modernized priests look like a cross between Darth Vader and the guy from The Matrix. :D
--Herod. Creepy sleazeball, but funny in a weird way.
-- Zombies. Jesus pretty much gets assaulted by zombies. And instead of being all Jesus-y "Yes ye shall be healed"-ish, after a while he basically shoves them in the face. :D
Oh and: Jesus. Is. Hot. Gahhhh that sounds so wrong, but seriously. Not very typical Jesus-looking, (beardless and blond) but sooooo extremely attractive. Okay, so NOT as Jesus, This guy is hot. And British. (Better than last post, I can insert links now.)
Huge improvement over retro, mustachioed-Kurt-Cobain-ish Jesus. (go big or go beardless, the mustache isn't going to cut it... would the plural of Jesus be Jesusses? Jesii?)