Saturday, January 30, 2010

Schwarzenegger and World Studies

Today's Six Words:

Great Moments in History-- TWSS Edition

Yes, that's right-- That's What She Said. (as I've mentioned before, intialisms/abbreviations/symbols don't count as more than one word)

So, on Thursday in World Studies, (if you read carefully, most of my actual stories about school come from this class. There's a reason for that, one being that most of us should be on some kind of medication... the swearing-in-Gaelic teacher included.) the following conversation reached a predictable conclusion:

Student-person: "Mrs. G, the pencil sharpener is broken."
Mrs. G: "Well, is it plugged in?"
SP: "Yes. It's broken."
G: *Irritated, as usual* "No, it's not. Just stick it in hard and twist it. It'll work for you eventually.
Let's just call him "Rico"... he'd enjoy that immensely: *triumphantly, though these setups are not uncommon*: "That's what she said!"

Oh, and the day before, Rico was showing a group of people how he can somehow extend his stomach so it looks like he's 4 months pregnant or so, and move it, like in a circular motion. Creepy, but Mrs. G remarks: "Ewww. Hey, did any of you ever see that one movie with Schwarzenegger, where the guy pops out of the other guy's stomach? Rico reminded me of that, it was disgusting." First mistake there, G-- you do NOT mention Schwarzenegger movies containing aliens in people's stomachs in front of them and expect them to ignore it.

So naturally, 5 minutes later she caved, and showed us this gem, which is like a compilation of the entire movie, with multiple catfights and shootings and some swearing that made them giggle like 8 year olds. Oh, *yes*, Mrs. G, THIS is perfectly appropriate to show during class, and History of the World Part 1/Holy Grail is "too vulgar"? What. The. Hell?! It's at least relevant, to, uh, what's this called... World Studies. (hey, I'm not complaining, perfect waste of 6 minutes, but really.)


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Harry Potter Allegory!

As evidenced by my incredibly awkward blog around the beginning of the decade, I'm not very religious, and my knowledge of the "plot" of the Bible is pretty much limited to movies. But the more I think about it, in a twisted-far-fetched-symbolic way, Dumbledore was Jesus. (I Googled it. Not an original observation, and JK Rowling has refuted it directly... but let's continue, because Harry Potter fandom is something I understand more than Biblical studies-- exponentially moreso.) Dumbledore was wise, caring, charismatic, interesting, complex, dead, and overall simply COOL. Traits easily attributed also to Jesus, right?

Meaning that basically, Snape was Judas. (And WHO here didn't root for Snape a tiny bit? Come on. *raises own hand*) Only the deaths were out of sequence. It's the same sort of, "Well, shit. It's going to happen by some means so just get on with it, do it, *I'm* certainly not in the position to get all bitter about it, life goes on"-- Deathly Hallows is awesome despite the physical absence of Dumbledore, and on the other side of it, if you read til the end, APOCALYPSE!

Little anecdote regarding Snape: When my mom was picking up my pre-ordered copy of Deathly Hallows, the cashier asked her, "Is Snape good or bad?" She, knowing nothing about this, guessed Snape was good. She got a purple sticker with "Trust Snape" on it. Had I been with her, I would have asked to see the stickers and picked which was prettier. I was still undecided, (like I am about a LOT of crap, more important than this) so my method of decision-making comes down to stuff like color of the stickers.

Less far-fetched, does this mean Voldy was SATAN?! :O See, HP haters? It teaches good moral lessons, never promotes Satanmort, and does not turn people into witches/gay/kangaroos, any argument you may have against the books. **side: isn't there some theory that Jesus was gay? I mean, it's like brotherly, one-arm-guy-hug type love for the apostles/disciples and such... (grammatical side: is the T in "apostle" silent, like "whistle" and "castle"? Shouldn't the possessive of "Jesus" be "Jesus's", instead of "Jesus'"? Wouldn't that imply the PLURAL possessive? Multiple Jesuii, having things that belong to all of them?)**

Don't these sound like something out of the gospel?:

"I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me... Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it. (*cough*I'mwatchingyou*cough*)

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

"Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them." (people are fuckups sometimes, but we all have to deal with them, if not love them, for their flaws...)

"To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." (after all, heaven= awesomeness)

"I don't need a cloak to become invisible." (*cough*stillwatchingyou*ahemhemhem*)

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

Okay, sign me up for the Church of Albus Dumbledore...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

And in what could have been one blog:

This is the special section of blog today that very well could have been attached to that insanely long and rambley and potentially only interesting to me other blog I just wrote that contains my Six Word Saturday! Yaaaay! *Kermit the frog arm flailing-- almost typed "failing", yay for proofreading!*

I love grapefruit Vitamin C drops! (This is the approximate color of them and presumably of my mouth right now. Yum.)

They make my throat all moist, plus they taste really, really good. I'd eat them more often, but I feel like I need an excuse. People would see me sucking one in public and assume I'm sick all the time or something. One more of the reasons I like being sick. Is that so wrong? It's the weekend, I'm not harming anyone with my inactivity or movie-watching, and it's unlikely I'll miss school. I just ENJOY HAVING A COLD.


Nostalgic Movies for a Cold Saturday

**I am going to post two blogs today, instead of squashing this with my 6WS. I'm also doing this one intentionally first, so that I will be LAST for the second week in a row. :P**

I've spent much of today doing nothing. Very contently, as opposed to the last few Saturdays, wherein I've been stressed or feeling shitty for some reason... well, today I have a cold, but it's made me just sickly and full of mucus enough to stay home alone in my pajamas all day. (It's ironic that a cold makes me happy, but that's me.) These occurrences are very, very rare. And how have I seized this opportunity?

Doing (what would appear to most people as)

Nothing. :D

As in, watching movies and sucking vitamin C drops and lying on the couch and generally not doing productive things such as homework, but at this point I don't care. Aforementioned movies watched include:

Charlotte's Web (which does indeed make me cry, shut up.)

The Wizard of Oz (Oh hellz yes)

Kiki's Delivery Service (It's awesome, but my anime-obsessed BFF insists upon the superiority of the Japanese version. It's all I know about anime-wise, and Phil Hartman-dubbed Jiji is adorable, sarcastic, AND speaks English! :P)

The Swan Princess (So, so corny, but so, so good. Jean Bob kind of pwns Naveen just a little bit. If you have seen either of these movies then you get a sticker. Heck, you get a sticker for reading this far. *throws stickers from magical parade float and watches people run into the street like ninnies, because this is MY asterisk bubble dammit and if I want to see you run into traffic then YOU WILL.*)

Annie (The 1999 Disney version. Nostalgic for me, though I do admit Whatzisface guy who plays Rooster is far inferior to Tim Curry in retrospect. Mmmm, Tim Curry...)

Willy Wonka (on in background as this is being typed. I've had to stop multiple times so as to devote my full attention to it.)

And yes, all on VHS, pausing in between to shove them into the magic rectangle rewinding device. Does this thing have a name? It makes a buzzing sort of noise and then pops the tape out when it's done, with a light thing in the corner. I have distinct memories of jamming my fingers into it. This thing:


Saturday, January 16, 2010

Possible band names

That time of week again! Happy Saturday and other similar day-related sentiments.

My six:

If I ever join a band...

Here's some names I would use:
Electrified Snozzberries (Literary reference, but "electrified" makes it sound awesome. If you don't know the reference, I'm not telling.)

a myrtaceous koala. (Hah, go look it up. That's part of the appeal of it-- it's confusing. :D)

Stripes of Space

Oddments From The Back Of The Refrigerator (Another literary reference, slightly more obscure. There's a prize if you get it.)

Punctuation & the Ampersands

Like Purple on Eggplant (no reference, just an old inside joke.)

The probability I'll ever have the chance to use one of these is very low, but it's good to be prepared.


Meh, hopefully it'll work. Goodbye for tonight, lovely cyberspace!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Answering Machine of the Multiverse

**So, no blog on Wednesday. I think I'll just revise that to simply "bi-weekly"... not for the sake of my readership, but so I don't feel guilty about it.** Explanation:

Fuck. Finals.

Done. Finally. Oh, and what's worse-- I had to spend an hour and 45 minutes trapped in some kind of alternate universe wherein TIME HAS STOPPED. I know that seems insane, exaggeratory, showing my completely overdramatic and impatient side (I'm not denying anything.) but seriously. I love libraries, specifically for their quiet, booknerdiness. But this was just not right. Like something out of a bad horror movie, the Twilight Zone, the worst documentary ever, or my brain. Possibly all, stemming from my brain... No sound, I was the only person moving. It was cold, too cold, maybe because of my lack of motion, and my hands had started to turn a splotchy reddish-purple. I remember this and take note of it because I got hyper observant halfway through. I brought a book to pass time like a normal person would, but I finished it. There was NO clock, which I took to mean that time was NONEXISTENT. The silence was SO quiet I was afraid of making any kind of noise. I really don't like drawing attention to myself, (in certain situations, it can vary by day. I like to pretend I'm interesting and attention-seeking when in reality I can be shy and dull as a sack of potatoes. Not the red ones, or the ones shaped like fingers, just POTATOES. Why the hell am I telling the Internet this? Why am I comparing myself to potatoes? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.) and because in the state I was in I convinced myself that if I sneezed I would like, rip a hole in the space-time continuum and destroy humanity.

Okay, so, the non-creepy part of this story: ONLY evidence of time passage; an answering machine. An old-fashioned (circa maybe 1991), real answering machine where the messages can be heard by everyone. Very librariany. Static female-robotish voice saying she was Linda **or some other short name that I tend to associate with librarians, names may have been not remembered to leave the innocent out of my nonsense.** and that could could Lynne **see note at Linda** please call her back about somethingsomething?

And so, this is one big thank-you note to Lynne/Linda. Thank you, Lynne/da and your answering machine, because sometimes I need proof that there is other human life in my universe...


Saturday, January 9, 2010

6WS (Video Edition)

I'm later than I usually am with the 6WS-ing, maybe today I'll claim the coveted title of LAST!!!11! Yaaaaay. My six:

Some cliches just sound better videoified:

The standard "Be Yourself" does hold some meaning, no matter how repetitive it is. Today has been really crappy avec (wait, no... por?) moi, here's hoping yours was better.

(Science says that, I say I want the smiley face cappuccino.)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Resolution Part 2/104

Hello again. I have calculated all the Wednesdays and Saturdays in 2010. Assuming I go this year entirely fail-less, I'll have posted 104 times. This is the second of those. I'm really not going to bore you out of obligation, if a post turns out to be something like, "Today was good/boring/who knows and/or cares", I'll skip it. But mostly this is an exercise in DISCIPLINE and COMMITMENT and OTHER THINGS I COULD PUT IN CAPS for me personally.

I've started thinking about writing poetry more often, but then I realized most of my "I am a tormented child poet" phase was crap. I used to write nonsense haiku whilst locked in the closet under the stairs-- of my own free will. Seriously. Closet under the stairs= OMGZ just like in Harry Potter!!!! So I spent most of 2005 like that. A sample of poems from the abyss formerly known as Adequate Space for a Young Harry Potter Fanatic That is Now Full of Boxes and Other Assorted Shit:



It's a word. Really.

The Strawberry Whale (seriously, I wrote this in red crayon... deep and facinating-- as most things in crayon are-- I must warn you.)

A seven syllable phrase

Contemplation OF everything (sadly not in crayon)

Yes this is five words.

A triangular space

I am in it. La!

Apparently I couldn't think of an ending to that one. La! Meh, hopefully I've gotten better at it. Takes up space nicely, anyway. Good use of few words that do NOT necessarily need to make any kind of sense. Refrigerator. :D


(copy and paste is still being annoying... but anything mildly funny that screams "I am *THIS* close to going on a homicidal rampage." would be appropriate here.)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Noob Reviewer on Religion, Relative Hotness of Jesii


The following blog contains:
A lot of talk about Jesus/musical theatre (Supreme dislike of either should signify an end to reading this particular blog post.)
Probably some blasphemy
Trivial observations

Still reading? Let's begin:

Having recently (because my mom found the made-for-PBS newer version VHS at Half Price Books, and has been obsessed with it for 35 years. What Catholic school did to a bunch of sixth-graders. *sigh* Seriously, my mother still has 98 percent of a 2 hour opera MEMORIZED.) watched Jesus Christ Superstar, I thought I'd blog about my slightly agnostic-y-major-broadway-nerd perception of it. Hopefully it will interest some people. (if not, just skip to the end, wherein I yak about hot/non-hot Jesii) Hopefully it will annoy some people. (because what fun is anything if someone doesn't disagree?)

First and foremost: TERRIFIC musical. Really catchy, awesome songs, and just very interesting to watch, regardless of "message".

The basic plot focuses mostly on the factual (by factual I mean more realistic, stops before going into the "risen from the dead" and after...) part of it, and the ending is ambiguous. I like that it leaves you to draw your own conclusions. There are no villains (only creeps), but there isn't really a "hero", either. Yes, Judas is the main antagonist, but he has a good point. Like, "This whole thing is starting to spiral out of control, and already the values you have people excited about are being overshadowed. Of course *I* don't want to be the reason you're killed...*headdesk*.. but they're going to kill you ANYWAY, so let's just get it over with."

Even Jesus is like, "Oh, fuck. I don't WANT to die. Even if it is for the salvation of all humankind or whatever. And is that even what's really going to happen? THAT would be helpful to know before I let them beat the living shit out of me. *headdesk* Being Jesus effing sucks."

Everyone is portrayed as being human, with realistic emotions. Speaking for myself, in the same situation right at the beginning I'd have assumed I was a schizophrenic or something, and go completely batfuck insane. So, props for sticking it out until the gruesome end.

Also, I found a few of things in this movie hilarious.

--At the Last Supper, when Jesus points out that they're drinking his blood, the "WTF?!?!" face of the apostle drinking the wine is priceless.
--Same scene, the 10 apostles that don't do anything cut the tension of the crazy intense staredown by randomly bursting into the chorus part. *Completely* appropriate time for that.
-- The fact that the modernized priests look like a cross between Darth Vader and the guy from The Matrix. :D
--Herod. Creepy sleazeball, but funny in a weird way.
-- Zombies. Jesus pretty much gets assaulted by zombies. And instead of being all Jesus-y "Yes ye shall be healed"-ish, after a while he basically shoves them in the face. :D

Oh and: Jesus. Is. Hot. Gahhhh that sounds so wrong, but seriously. Not very typical Jesus-looking, (beardless and blond) but sooooo extremely attractive. Okay, so NOT as Jesus, This guy is hot. And British. (Better than last post, I can insert links now.)

Huge improvement over retro, mustachioed-Kurt-Cobain-ish Jesus. (go big or go beardless, the mustache isn't going to cut it... would the plural of Jesus be Jesusses? Jesii?)

6WS resolutions!!!

Before the Six Words part, I'd like to state some resolutions, trying to keep most relevant to this blog:

--Don't procrastinate (applicable to SO many other things)
-- Be more interesting (Same parentheses as the above)
-- Quityerwhining. (yes, one word. And yes, ditto other parenthesseses...?)
-- Blog more frequently/consistently (NOT applicable in real world, but I'm thinking a REGULAR blog every Wednesday & Saturday in 2010!)
-- Don't rely on 6WS for your once-weekly, short blogs (see above)
-- Get to the darn POINT with the Six Words!!!

My six:

Worry about tomorrow first. (if necessary)
(this is kind of personal; I tend to worry/stress myself into incoherent babbling and foaming at the mouth about things that are weeks away, yet forget the worry-inducing/possibly more important thing looming in the immediate future. Not a perfect strategy either way, but (if) I must worry, so this is my way of organizing it at least. Make your own meaning of that if you share my crazypantzed tendencies.)


(Blogger is being mean *as opposed to my blatant ignoring of this as of late* and not letting me post the image or the link. Use your imaginaaaaaation to think of one and pretend I put it here.)