Saturday, January 2, 2010

Noob Reviewer on Religion, Relative Hotness of Jesii


The following blog contains:
A lot of talk about Jesus/musical theatre (Supreme dislike of either should signify an end to reading this particular blog post.)
Probably some blasphemy
Trivial observations

Still reading? Let's begin:

Having recently (because my mom found the made-for-PBS newer version VHS at Half Price Books, and has been obsessed with it for 35 years. What Catholic school did to a bunch of sixth-graders. *sigh* Seriously, my mother still has 98 percent of a 2 hour opera MEMORIZED.) watched Jesus Christ Superstar, I thought I'd blog about my slightly agnostic-y-major-broadway-nerd perception of it. Hopefully it will interest some people. (if not, just skip to the end, wherein I yak about hot/non-hot Jesii) Hopefully it will annoy some people. (because what fun is anything if someone doesn't disagree?)

First and foremost: TERRIFIC musical. Really catchy, awesome songs, and just very interesting to watch, regardless of "message".

The basic plot focuses mostly on the factual (by factual I mean more realistic, stops before going into the "risen from the dead" and after...) part of it, and the ending is ambiguous. I like that it leaves you to draw your own conclusions. There are no villains (only creeps), but there isn't really a "hero", either. Yes, Judas is the main antagonist, but he has a good point. Like, "This whole thing is starting to spiral out of control, and already the values you have people excited about are being overshadowed. Of course *I* don't want to be the reason you're killed...*headdesk*.. but they're going to kill you ANYWAY, so let's just get it over with."

Even Jesus is like, "Oh, fuck. I don't WANT to die. Even if it is for the salvation of all humankind or whatever. And is that even what's really going to happen? THAT would be helpful to know before I let them beat the living shit out of me. *headdesk* Being Jesus effing sucks."

Everyone is portrayed as being human, with realistic emotions. Speaking for myself, in the same situation right at the beginning I'd have assumed I was a schizophrenic or something, and go completely batfuck insane. So, props for sticking it out until the gruesome end.

Also, I found a few of things in this movie hilarious.

--At the Last Supper, when Jesus points out that they're drinking his blood, the "WTF?!?!" face of the apostle drinking the wine is priceless.
--Same scene, the 10 apostles that don't do anything cut the tension of the crazy intense staredown by randomly bursting into the chorus part. *Completely* appropriate time for that.
-- The fact that the modernized priests look like a cross between Darth Vader and the guy from The Matrix. :D
--Herod. Creepy sleazeball, but funny in a weird way.
-- Zombies. Jesus pretty much gets assaulted by zombies. And instead of being all Jesus-y "Yes ye shall be healed"-ish, after a while he basically shoves them in the face. :D

Oh and: Jesus. Is. Hot. Gahhhh that sounds so wrong, but seriously. Not very typical Jesus-looking, (beardless and blond) but sooooo extremely attractive. Okay, so NOT as Jesus, This guy is hot. And British. (Better than last post, I can insert links now.)

Huge improvement over retro, mustachioed-Kurt-Cobain-ish Jesus. (go big or go beardless, the mustache isn't going to cut it... would the plural of Jesus be Jesusses? Jesii?)

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