Friday, June 3, 2011

By the way, I claim this as my intellectual property

I spend a lot of time thinking of names for things (especially recently, for some reason. Hoo-hah, procrastination!). Books I'm unlikely to write, (containing artfully named characters I'm unlikely to write about. . . I really should try to hone my writing/blogging frequency over the summer. Over the past few months I've had the excuse of being actually busy, but no more. This is going to change.) bands I know for a fact I will never be in, things like that. It's a shame, I think, that all these brilliant titles are put to no use and eventually are forgotten. So for this blog post I'm going to be focusing on the latter.

Decent names for hypothetical bands: (see also this video)

1. Freaky Lemon
Style: Electronic dance-y music, what they play in clubs nowadays.
Additional gimmick: All song titles must include a color. When a song is played in da club, corresponding color strobe lights are flashed.

2. The Pun-ishments
Style: Pun-based musical comedy/parody
Explanation: Por ejemplo, a song called "Bad Hare Day" would be this epic storytelling hard-rock ballad about a rabbit attack. For a converse example of punning, both the title and tune of "Comfortably Numb" would be used, but the lyrics would describe having a tooth pulled.

3. The Electric Collective
Okay, I had originally thought of this just because it sounded cool, and apparently I'm not the only one who thinks so. They're a real band, from Switzerland nonetheless. The Eclectic Collective is even famous enough to have their own Wikipedia page. And here I thought I was clever.

4. Them They Suck
Style: Old-school punk rock
Additional gimmick: The verbal confusion caused by The Who, The The, The Band, etc., plus a hearty sense of self-deprecating humor.

5. Indigo Solitude
Style: Anything moody/indie/suitably hipsterish. The sort of thing that gets put on the soundtrack to a movie featuring Michael Cera. (Note: As with #3, this returned some Google results. It's apparently the title--separated by a slash--of an old Duke Ellington EP.) The words just sound good together.

Thoughts? If any musicianly types are browsing this blog: 1.) Out of curiosity, would you use any of these? 2.) This indicates to me that you are of the Internet nerd/Google-randomly-and-see-where-it-takes-you type, and you identify as musicianly. Marry me now, please and thanks.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Feasibility of Romance in Mental Institutions

Teen mental hospital romance is kind of becoming a genre. And, as formulaic as they kind of are, I like them. (More than, say, Sarah Dessen's brand of formulaic-ness.) Examples:

It's Kind of a Funny Story--Ned Vizzini (possibly started this whole thing)
Get Well Soon--Julie Halpern
Recovery Road--Blake Nelson

The first and last are arguably more serious, and the second is the funniest ipso facto the best (did I even use that correctly? Dammit Latin, why do you make things sound better without making any logical contextual sense?). It's so good that I'd kind of like to commit myself because it's gotten in my head that I will meet a cute/unstable boy there. This is probably untrue, I'd be too busy trying to get my shit together to notice any attractive Joey Ramone lookalikes. (More bonus awesome points for this book. Anachronistic music nerdiness FTW.) None of it seems realistic to me, but I wouldn't say no to something like this conversation:

A Sample Dialogue Between Teenaged Crazies
"What're you in for?"
"Bipolar. You?"
"Mmm, sexy. You wanna make out?"
"Sure." *commence kissing* *stop kissing* "Wait, now I have to kiss you six more times or my lips will be unbalanced." (Note that this would either be a fantastic excuse to kiss this hypothetical guy more, or a mortifyingly probable situation.)

Sometimes I do honestly think I have a slew of mental illnesses: OCD, Schizotypal personality disorder, dysthymia. . . (I could go on from here and I know this is mostly irrational and ineffective but I'd venture to guess at least the OCD diagnosis via Dr. Internet is correct) *music plays* The More You Know. Thanks, Google! And then some part of my brain goes "It's hormones, bitch. Get over your damn self, the fictional characters are worse off than you."

On a "this is the Internet"-type level, I also like that I managed to find Julie Halpern's blog (and that it's relatively frequently updated) instead of my only recollection of the author as a person being something like this:

Amanda McPseudonym lives in Wyoming with a pack of wolves and a man she claims is her husband. This is her first novel. You can read more about the book by going to the publishing company's website but you're probably going to forget it in a day and a half anyway. You read it already, what are you nosing around the back cover for? Piss off.

Because, you know, most of them *do* sound like that. Who even writes author blurbs? (. . .to Google!)

Sunday, January 30, 2011


Crap, I haven't blogged in more than a month. So, fixing that now. iPod meme, anyone?


**NOTE: Format stolen from Libba Bray's Livejournal. All song titles and subsequent comments courtesy of my taste in music/brain.**

1. Put your iTunes/iPod, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing. (Except only if you want to, adds I.)
(But whatever happened to four?, the inquisitive, observant readers will ask. You'll never know. *sinister*)

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY? Do You Believe in Magic? (Yeah, I can answer a question with a question, what of it?)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? That's Not My Name (Identity crisis. Ask again later.)


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? What a Wonderful World (Yup. Today is awesome. =))

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? I Can't Decide (You have. No idea. How accurate this is. Lulz.)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO? Don't Stop Me Now (Hell yea.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? The KKK Took My Baby Away (What are you implying? That I'm a white supremacist, or that I'm likely to be abducted? Either way I take offense. :P)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? I Will (. . .will what?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Oh, so true. I'm a teenage girl, what did you expect?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Firework (*cough*pyromaniac*cough* This is our sense of humor in a nutshell, really.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? I Wanna Be Sedated (XD. Accurate, yes.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile (Dentistry? *shudder*)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? I'm Going Home (I'd seriously consider this. Hands down.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? A Well Respected Man (Heh. Hehehe. . .)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? No Children (Meaning, my hypothetical infertility, or the possibility that humanity will be destroyed and there will eventually no children in the world? The latter.)


WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW? Maybe (The best non-answer in the world. Maybe I want some unspecified thing, maybe I don't, and you'll never know.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Blackbird (I must save your poor broken souls! *heroic music* Nah, this one is complete nonsense.)


Things you know about me from this:

1. I am a huge nerd for music older than I am, and musicals.
2. I am easily bored.
3. I am undecided and apathetic and all manner of other things, sometimes.
4. I might be a closet member of the Klan.

And with that, I bid you adieu. :D

Friday, December 17, 2010

Conversion Successful, Achievement Unlocked!

Remember this charming little anecdote? About that:

I. . .

have created. . .

a fangirl.

"Wait 'til you're eighteen" my ass.

Oh, fun times were had. Will continue to be had. Flinch reflex totally eradicated (Beginning of movie: Shirtless males! Must not see! By the end: Watching with rapt attention). Dancing, line memorization commenced. Also, our own punny/vulgar references to things, declaration of ourselves as Magenta/Columbia respectively.

But, as with anything, the debate of England vs. Japan comes up. Bonded by a mutual love of androgyny/transvestites, parallels were drawn between Dr. Frank and Gackt **for the horribly uninformed: Frank = main character, mad scientist, voice like sex. Gackt = Japanese, pop singer, likes to pretend he's a vampire. I find it disturbing that the icon describes him as "Everybody's playmate". NO JUST NO.** See for yourselves:

The resemblance is uncanny, is it not? Even better examples exist, but they screw with Blogger's formatting.

England wins again, bitches.

To make up for my gloating, I will admit I only know/obsess over aspects of British pop culture, not necessarily geography. I honestly thought Stonehenge was in Chile. (Confused it for Easter Island, which, even so, is not IN CHILE, rather on an island **Hence Easter ISLAND, dumbass** governed by Chile. Whatever. For the recently-neglected video ending segment of this blog, this should be seen by everyone and so I am embedding it here:

"Let's go rub it in a single crippled man's face!" xD

Thursday, November 18, 2010

A Definitive Choice and Explanation on What I Will Name My Hypothetical Daughter

**PRE-Footnote: Yes, this is the topic that made me go completely internally rageballs months ago.**

Re: Title-- Joanne.

Why? 1.) My fantastic(ally insane/amazing/witty/sarcastic/kind) grandmother, who deserves to have a hypothetical small relation named after her hypothetically, and the naming convention is charmingly traditional (though thankfully not applied to me, because then my name would most probably be Lourdes. Eeesh).

2.) Check what day it is. Just check. Apply your knowledge (if any--if none, you should expand upon it, and in the process remove the boulder from your living quarters.) of Harry Potter. Deathly Hallows Part 1 ahhhhg must see why the hell can't it be Friday now I'm jealous of all y'all who get to see it today arrrrrrg. Joanne. Kathleen. Rowling, people. Is kind of goddess of my childhood.

3.) I just like the name Joanne. Admittedly I like Joanna more--some kind of phonetic thing--but hey.



Thursday, November 4, 2010

It's the most wonderful time of the year. . .

NaNoWriMo, suckers! I'm off to further the process of my going insane. Wish me luck, and I hope your November is awesome.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Embarrassing Story Hiatus-Compensation

Story time! (Because embarrassment always makes up for not blogging in weeks. Also this may be kind of gross. Enjoy?)

So, up until now I've held a pretty good streak of not vomiting (5-6 years). I've also never been sent home from/been sick at school (absent, yes, and there was that time I got my face busted open on school property, but that's different).

Yesterday, this happened.

Beknownst to me, I'd caught a virus that my brother had had the day before. I was determined to get through as much school as possible, then nobly opt out before the actual sickness began. That didn't work. I was going to go to the nurse during Driver's Ed (because it's easy to make up completely useless busywork. . .), BUT there was a presentation being given by a married couple whose son had been killed by a speeding driver. It seemed inconsiderate to leave in the middle of it, and more importantly, I didn't want to draw attention to myself. DAMN MY CRIPPLING CONSIDERATENESS!

At the beginning of next period, I managed to get to the door and mutter, "May I please go to the nuh"--*heave*--"nuh"--*heave*--"nuh"--*guess*, to the teacher I would have least liked to puke in front of. (Not because of some creeptastic hot-for-teacher thing *IMPORTANT DISTRACTING SIDENOTE: Glee fans, click for the best tumblr you have ever seen in your incomplete life.* **OTHER RANDOM TANGENT: I hate when people say "in your entire life", because your life is clearly not over. There could possibly be better X's to Y in the life you have yet to live.**, just a sort of "EVERYTHING YOU SAY MAKES COMPLETE SENSE THANK YOU FOR EXISTING" way.)

And/but/so, that happened. Then I got to be wheelchaired to the nurse. Which would have been fun, but see previous note about not wanting to attract attention. The end, hope you enjoyed this because in some deep corner of your mind you are a sadist (it's okay, I won't tell), and this specifically didn't happen to you.

(You know the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? It applies to food. Not only is food essential to life and all that jazz, food is also--usually understatedly, mind you--freaking delicious. Thanks for existing too, food.)