Thursday, August 20, 2009

I feel like puking less...

I'll take that as a good sign.

Seriously, I know these are what people call "the jitters" (although like everything having to do with being a panicky crazy ball of mush, it's multiplied about 600 times for me.) and I KNOW in a year or so I'll be all "LOL. Freshmany n00b." (though hopefully not exactly like that. I try to chatspeak as little as possible.) Heck, maybe in a few MONTHS or so. But having perspective on how stupid this is does not make me STOP acting stupid. It seems real at the moment.

I'm having less of an actual breakdown currently, it'll come back at around 2 in the morning to bite me, though. So if there's another post today that goes something like "sjgigigjgiegjbmdfkgode9t9tgfmdlg.dflklffk.kdsdklkdckldlkfkfkdfdggtioes!!!!", disregard and assume it's me, sitting in the dark, rocking back and forth and banging my head on the keyboard.

I had to stay up all night last night just to be tired enough to fall asleep at a normal hour tonight. I do that a lot. It's like a self-inflicted sedative, sometimes it works.

I think I'm returning to normal, because my sense of humor (if you can call it that) is coming back. Here's a quote:

Bye bye life
Bye bye happiness
Hello loneliness
I think I'm gonna die
I think I'm gonna die

-- "Bye Bye Life"

Yep, that sums it up. It's such an emotasmic song, yet so catchy at the same time.

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