(Or, if you happen to be reading this on Thursday, or Friday, or perchance in THE NEXT MILLENNIUM, it was Wednesday.)
Wednesday is a pretty awkward name for a day. It's long and strange and kind of out of sequence. Which is how Wednesday IS, though, so it's appropriate. I also dislike that it's called "Hump Day", meaning it's downhill for the rest of the week, school/work/whatever is more than halfway over... but the day in and of itself is never particularly exciting. And Wednesday's child is the one whose life sucks. (paraphrasing, of course)
In an attempt to make a day of the week more exciting, I have turned to Wikipedia. (all-knowing source of all that is interesting) Long story short: (this may be one of the FEW things not even Wiki can make an interesting point of...) Wednesday is either named after a German god of wood, or Mercury. (In other languages it makes sense, but not English...) The wood god is all bearded and goblin looking, bitter that he couldn't be the god of something cool. In other religions it's regarded as a day of fast and blah blah, and Friday is too, so Thursday is like "AHHH MEAT FOOD OM NOM NOM!!".... and then back to fasting. Hah. Religion + Diet = does not make sense, as I have noted. Actually most religions spell it out that you're not supposed to eat humans. This is common sense, but whatever stops people from trying... I've always thought it would taste like salmon. (not chicken, that's too cliche. But I think the texture would be like salmon...)
Wikipedia is doing nothing to zestify this post with excitingness. Random useless holidays to the rescue! (Brownielocks is an awesome resource when you're looking for something to celebrate.)
That is not even a punctuationally correct fragment, that's how flabbergasted I am. Are you ready for this?
The only holiday listed for Wednesday, February 24th is.... *sarcastically anticlimactic drumroll please*
Inconvenience Yourself Day
How utterly crap is that? I missed all the good ones: Chocolate Mint Day, Pancake Day, Read in the Bathtub Day, International Snow Sculpting Week, ... though I DID celebrate World Nutella Day. Oh yes.
**NOTE**: I looked up the calendar for '95, and guess which day I was born on? *long-suspenseful-pause-though-the-answer-is-obvious drumroll please* Wednesday. I find this very funny in a twisted way. But really, none of the other lines fit me, implying respectively: Pretty, graceful, EMOTASTIC, some journey or something, loving, hardworking, "bonny and blithe and good and gay" L-O-L. Oh the irony.
Oh, and of course no homage (I like to pronounce it "HOMM-aj", British and odd-sounding. :D) to all things Wednesday would be complete without