Saturday, February 20, 2010


Oh my god I love these cookies, no matter how truly eeeeevil they are.

Think about it: They're packaged 5 to a cup, implying that 5 cookies are equivalent to 1 serving. It's not. This leads to said Milanos being eaten much quicker than intended. ONE flute is a THIRD of the bag. The nonexistence of Milanos = sadness. Plus, they're probably really unhealthy and so on, so any one person probably should NOT eat a third of the package. All of this is almost sue-worthy. (or at least an angry letter that they don't know what to do with, so they send a form letter and coupons for free cookies. MMMmmm. It's happened to me. *just a smartass observation about bug spray, but I'm assuming it would get the same response.*) But no one dareth sue over something so wonderful. This is their plot. They are aware of their deliciousness and use it as a distraction from their true, evil motives. They really should bottle this quality. It actually works.

I'm over thinking it, just because I couldn't think of a topic and am currently eating said delivilcious cookies. I know they're irresistible just because there is chocolate involved. Ahhhh chocolate I want to marry you. Eat you. Smell you. Anything short of the only instance of CHOCOLATE GONE CRAZY EVIL-- Chocolate AXE. Fuck no. Does not smell good in any way. Does not smell like chocolate, rather more like burned tire and Sharpies.

How do I know what Chocolate Axe smells like? Aforementioned in another post, "Rico" seems to think that this scent is attractive to, well, everyone. So he sprays it in World Studies. A lot. There is one other girl who enjoys this and often steals it to use on herself. She basically gets high off of it. (you can get high off Sharpies, hmm...) This is probably because of Axe's (highly effective, as this is an example of...) marketing. Axe = YOU GET WOMEN. TO USE. FOR SEX.

Wrong. But what matters is what people believe...

Other than that random point, I have little to say. I have a cold, which I'm trying to sustain until Monday so I can get off school. I've mentioned how much I love colds, and that's another of the reasons... I actually haven't missed any school yet this year. Cold and flu season is almost over, I think I'm deserving of a day off before I have absolutely NO excuse. (This is of course just a speculation, faking sick is bad and I'll have to make up work and on and on, but my POINT is that if I act now I won't HAVE to fake entirely per se...)

FIPOGI! (Olympic Edition)

(Six Word Saturday to be posted separately later...)

1 comment:

  1. Milanos! Yum! Too good to be true, huh?! Second only to what they do to my tastes buds: the little, accordioned white paper nests they come stacked in~~ ike they are the Royalty of Cookiedom! Wait! THEY ARE!

    *puts Milanos on the grocery list* See you later, I've got to run to the market, PRONTO!