Thursday, October 28, 2010

Embarrassing Story Hiatus-Compensation

Story time! (Because embarrassment always makes up for not blogging in weeks. Also this may be kind of gross. Enjoy?)

So, up until now I've held a pretty good streak of not vomiting (5-6 years). I've also never been sent home from/been sick at school (absent, yes, and there was that time I got my face busted open on school property, but that's different).

Yesterday, this happened.

Beknownst to me, I'd caught a virus that my brother had had the day before. I was determined to get through as much school as possible, then nobly opt out before the actual sickness began. That didn't work. I was going to go to the nurse during Driver's Ed (because it's easy to make up completely useless busywork. . .), BUT there was a presentation being given by a married couple whose son had been killed by a speeding driver. It seemed inconsiderate to leave in the middle of it, and more importantly, I didn't want to draw attention to myself. DAMN MY CRIPPLING CONSIDERATENESS!

At the beginning of next period, I managed to get to the door and mutter, "May I please go to the nuh"--*heave*--"nuh"--*heave*--"nuh"--*guess*, to the teacher I would have least liked to puke in front of. (Not because of some creeptastic hot-for-teacher thing *IMPORTANT DISTRACTING SIDENOTE: Glee fans, click for the best tumblr you have ever seen in your incomplete life.* **OTHER RANDOM TANGENT: I hate when people say "in your entire life", because your life is clearly not over. There could possibly be better X's to Y in the life you have yet to live.**, just a sort of "EVERYTHING YOU SAY MAKES COMPLETE SENSE THANK YOU FOR EXISTING" way.)

And/but/so, that happened. Then I got to be wheelchaired to the nurse. Which would have been fun, but see previous note about not wanting to attract attention. The end, hope you enjoyed this because in some deep corner of your mind you are a sadist (it's okay, I won't tell), and this specifically didn't happen to you.

(You know the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? It applies to food. Not only is food essential to life and all that jazz, food is also--usually understatedly, mind you--freaking delicious. Thanks for existing too, food.)

1 comment:

  1. Oh man, I absolutely HATE throwing up. I usually cry when I do.